WRITER

When I got my first period aged 11, but not again for 18 months, I worried I might be the next Virgin Mary, pregnant by mystical means. I’d sit at my family computer and Google: “Ways to get pregnant without sex”, “Why am I not having my period?”, “No period after first period”. I’d spend an hour clicking through articles and Reddit threads until I read “no, you’re not pregnant” and “yes, this is normal” enough times. But after days, weeks, or sometimes a glorious month or two, the comfort wore...

I expected many things would be assumed of me, including: I was a specific kind of woman (one who’d grown up thinking about her wedding and not being the boy); I was straight (Haley had asked, “How’d you know this was your dude?” but did, to her credit, seamlessly adjust to the use of “she” pronouns when I mentioned Rachael, my fiancée); I needed to be told how beautiful I was (I could just imagine a perky stylist saying, “Oh my gosh, you look gorgeous!” and that made me cringe); and that this w...

My mother died six years ago. I’m getting married in August, and I don’t feel devastated that she won’t be at my wedding. I don’t even feel particularly sad. And it’s not because I didn’t love her. It’s not because I don’t miss her. I’m not Jeanette McCurdy’s I’m Glad My Mom Died. My mother was warm and loving. Kind and patient. She was my closest relationship, my most trusted ally. When I first noticed the lack of sadness, I felt guilty and ashamed. At her funeral, standing before her open cask...

As a friend and I walked to class in middle school together, she joked, "What would you do if I was just like, 'I'm a lesbian?'" I laughed. "Ummm….I don't know." I made a yikes face and widened my eyes. We were both in on the joke, but she didn't know that I'd been obsessing over whether I was a lesbian for months.You've heard the classic OCD tropes — someone who likes to keep a clean house or do things "a certain way." In reality, it doesn't involve preference or enjoyment at all. It's debilita...